Saturday, July 31, 2010

Oh My Hell (Renegade Craft Fair Part I).

Oooh, Renegade Craft Fair, can I just tell you?  SO awesome. So overwhelming.  I will be updating with pics tomorrow (The Black Apple!  The Small Stakes!), but first, I have a matter of business:

Please be advised, you are on my list. 


Since you are obviously not clued in, let me offer my assistance.  The Renegade Craft Fair is awesome, and pretty popular in a hipsterville like San Francisco.  People want to go.

However, the Zac Brown Band is pretty dang popular, as well. I'm not much of a country fan, but I am "with it" enough to know that they have won quite a few awards, like Grammy's n'stuff, and therefore people are going to want to see them play.  Enough to drive the cowboys to San Fran in droves.

When parking in the Marina area is already pretty hard to come by on a sunny Saturday, as a majority of parking spaces are reserved for boat owners, this becomes problematic.  Because both of the above events require parking.  

Like, I said, problematic.

However, when you book a Barney's New York motherlovin' SAMPLE SALE on the same date and time and location as the above two events... by the Will and Grace of God I'm glad my children were not with me.  Because I'm 99% sure a well-dressed gay man or a housewife with a residence on Chestnut Street would have murdered them for my parking spot.

Which, by the way, took an hour to find.  An hour.  Do you not know what I had already been through just to get to the city?  That it took an hour to drop my car-sharing husband off at work two hours early (bless his heart), and my kids off at the long-suffering in-laws?  That it took me an extra half hour to go buy formula because I forgot it at home? That it took me TWO hours to even drive to Fort Mason, thanks to a brush fire and a Giants game?  

Have you been adding all this up? Because I did, and it's a grand total of four. and. a. half. hours. 

Lucky for you, the fair ended much later than I thought it did.  Lucky for you, I eventually found parking and had two glorious hours of craftdom.  Lucky for you, I had an understanding mother-in-law who was happy to keep my kids twice as long.  Because when you put that "LOT FULL" sign up and I thought the fair ended in half hour, I was a woman scorned.  There were tears.  Lucky for you, I was triumphant in the end.  Otherwise, you would already be dead.

So consider yourself fortunate; you got off easy this time.  But be warned, I will be back next year. And if you ever, ever, EVER do this to me again, I will load up a VW bus full of renegade craftsters and drive them straight to your door for a smite-fest.  


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